Greetings once again everyone :o)
This month, my guest is Fallen Angel..He is a Council member from the Vampyre Society, and also the Vice President of the National Vampire Association or NVA.. It is the hope of those of us producing this zine, that you the reader, will gain much needed information on both vampirism and the diverse vampiric community, and learn and grow because of these interviews..As always, I hope you enjoy reading :o)
Silver: Greetings Fallen, thank you for meeting up with me for this interview :o) nice to see you.. Ok, just so other people will know, can I have you start with a brief introduction ?
Fallen: Hiya, well as you have already said I'm Fallen, I'm a 30 year young bloke living in the UK, I have been involved in the vampiric communities both off and online for the last 15 years now. I hold Elder and Council positions in several groups both on and offline..
Silver: 15 years is quite a long time to be involved in any community.. What organisations/houses are you involved in if I can ask that?
Fallen: Well, offline I'm a Council Elder for the House of the Crimson Scar, that is based in London. Sword bearer for the House of the FallenAngel that is also based in London, and Elder with Le Masion de Inferno, which is based in Vienna..Online, I'm a Council member of the Vampyre Society and Vice President of the National Vampire Society..
Silver: Ok, that is quite alot on your plate there, I wonder how you find time for all those different houses..In fact, I bet you have very little time to yourself..Now, I am also UK-based and I have to say that I did alot of checking around for vampire organisations about 3 years ago.. Have these in the UK been around very long, or are they quite new?
Fallen: Though they tend to take up a lot of my time, I still have plenty of time for myself... :o) Though last year the offline groups, plus work took me away from a lot of the online work I was doing..The House of the Crimson Scar has been around for about 13 years now, and the House of the FallenAngel have been around for about 25 years.. They have both opted to stay offline, as they have seen too many kids coming to sites, asking to become vampires, and the wannabes who claim they are several thousand years old etc..They both work by word of mouth and are quite hard to track down, let alone join..The other, Le Maison de Inferno has been around for about 75 years, and is the oldest group I have found in all the years I have been involved in the vampiric communities. They started off in France, but have moved their headquarters 7 times in the years its been around, and are now based in Vienna..I know there are many groups that claim to be x amout of hundreds of years old, but after research, they have been proved to have only been several years old if that..
Silver: Yeah, I thought as much.. I tend not to take everything as gospel truth..When you became involved with all of these houses, did it feel somehow like you were "home"?
Fallen: In a way, yes as when my vampirism manifested itself (lack of a better word) I was devastated, as I was very young when it happened, and even though I had open minded parents who helped me through it, after they found out what was wrong (thanks to their High Priestess, spotting the signs and putting them in touch with someone who could help) I felt so isolated.. I hated being so very different until I learned to accept it, and embrace it as a part of who I was. When I got involved with the groups offline, I wasn't treated like a leper, or like I was mad. I was treated like a part of the family..
Silver: Yanno.. I think this part is VERY important, ESPECIALLY for those who go through awakening when they are very young, as we see quite alot doing.. And I think there should be somewhere those can go to, and seek out information, even if they cannot legally join one of the houses or organisations..When you went through your own, did you also encounter others who were going through the same thing?
Fallen: I agree, but I also believe that many who say they are going through it, are just wishful thinking, as there has been a steady rise in youngsters that want to be a part of the community and with the information available on the net, allows them to say there are "awakening" when they are not.. This is the problem with the online community sometimes. And no, I was the only person I knew that was going through the problems I was facing and suffering when my vampirism manifested itself..I was very very lucky to have someone to guide me through it, and explain what I was feeling was natural, and would pass when my body got used to being a vampire..
Silver: Ok, that last part "when my body got used to being a vampire", could you just explain a bit what exactly that means? Incidentally, it is true that there are many who are not actually going through it as you say, and have studied the information online as it were, also as you say, but I still think that having that information there and available is a good thing, because if it is getting through this generation of young kids, eventually these kids grow up and become adults, and when that happens, they will not forget what they learned, and this perhaps is our key to those outside our community being able to accept us, because they know already who and what we are and what we go through, even if they do not..
Fallen: Sure, well as we all know vampires are born. Unlike many of the wannabes and roleplayers would like people to believe. And for me (and I have noticed for many of those whose vampirsm manifests) that it tends to happen round puberty.. For me, I developed strange cravings, and what could be described as what junkies get while going through cold turkey. So, as it was explained to me, when we start going through our "awakening", our bodies and emotions change slightly.. Some of us develope cravings that almost become uncontrolable..While our bodies adjust, we are all up and down with our emotions etc..
Silver: This comes up in just about every interview I do, that vampirism is likened to be similar to going through puberty again - You are unsure of what is actually going on with you, and it can be somewhat frightening to find out this information, and daunting to have to go through alone especially..
Fallen: And I agree, that there should be the information available to others, but I have learned not to take too many people at face value at first..I guess it's a part of me that is sometimes very untrusting with people. And more often I have been right about people.. Sometimes I'm wrong, and I will admit when I'm wrong.. :o)
Silver: Well, in any case, I also agree.. You don't just start admitting people into your ranks simply because they come in saying " I need to feed "..
Fallen: It is very frightening to someone who doesn't know what is happening when they don't have access to information that can help..Yep, I have seen so many people appear on several groups, saying the "I need to feed", and they state they are looking for a 16 year old girl etc..
Silver: Yes, I think we have ALL seen that one many times over.. For some, I think there is a lure there.. Maybe they come hoping to catch perspective mates or something, and feel that if they say " I'm a real vampire ", that this will in some way help..Ok, back to what you said earlier - your family knows you are a vampire I take it - how have they handled that? Are they pretty open - minded about it?
Fallen: Yes, they know about it and have been very supporting, though these days me and my dad don't talk much about it (my mum passed away several years ago, but she was the most supporting member of my family), and they are very open minded..As my dad says "people believe in a guy, that was nailed to a cross, and rose to save man kind, so why close your mind to things that have been spoken about for just as long if not longer? With vampirism, it has been around longer the Christianity by at least 2000 years, as was written about by the egyptians..
Silver: Yes, but it bears mentioning here that vampirism and religions/beliefs are not one and the same..One thing I have seen alot of, are people trying to combine vampirism with their beliefs..Why do you suppose they do this? As I said, they are not the same thing, nor related in anyway..Vampirism is a condition which affects us physically and psychologically.. Religions and belief systems are more for matters of spirituality..
Fallen: oh I agree, I have never understood why people have tried to turn vampirism into religion, several years back, I remember a group that tried to get people to by their "bible" and tried to tell people that they could preform a ritual that would change them into vampire (as long as they paid for it)
Silver: I believe I know the very ones you speak of..Still, I suppose there is always going to be a bad apple somewhere in the bunch, and capitalising on vampirism is a very attractive idea for some..
Fallen: Yep......its like the so called v5 virus..
Silver: I just happen to think it's a real shame that they do this.. Those who do are basically cheating people..They are taking away something which is very real and sometimes has its bad days, and turning it into something exciting and attractive just to turn some coin..Having said this however, how do you feel about houses which promote vampirism as a belief or fetish?
Fallen: This is one of the draw backs with the internet.. People try and screw people over, by claiming they speak only the truth, and all the other groups are full of it. just to make a fast buck, and with subjects like vampirism, that isn't well - known by many people, the phrase "bullshit baffles brains" applies..Well, for the groups that try and promote it as a religion, it's best I keep my thoughts to myself so not to start any flame wars, but I will say they are doing a lot more harm than good to our cause of trying to get people to understand us, and accept us for who we are and not the blood - sucking demons from the Bram Stoker/Anne Rice books...As for the fetish sites, I would like to see many of them stop referring to it as vampirism, but to refer to it as "blood fetish" which it is..ANYONE can drink blood, but only vampires feed off the energy that it contains..
Silver: I am so glad you said that..I hope all 800 odd read this interview and see this bit in here..
Fallen: Me too, as what many people don't understand and this includes us vampires, our body does not digest blood - sang vamps feed off the energy that is found in it, hence why old blood (which i call dead blood) doesn't contain the energy we require...no matter how long its kept in the fridge, or how fresh you think it is, don't drink it, as its very dangerous i have seen people ask about getting blood from the butchers, and keeping it, thats fine if you are addicted to the taste but do drink too much, and it won't do a thing for feeding the energy craving.
Silver: Personally, I really don't see how bagged bloods or bloods from the butcher are going to do anything for you sang wise anyway.. If its energy required from the blood in order to sate the crave and energise you, then it certainly goes totally against that fact by using these animal bloods as they are not fresh and no longer coursing through veins, therefore " not living ", and therefore, no energy.
Silver: within them..
Fallen: I know, but I have met several people off-line who are addicted to the taste of blood, and even though they have a regular doner they say it helps control their cravings, personally I wouldn't resort to such things.
Silver: Ok well, not being sanguinarian, I can't really comment on what helps and what doesn't.. This is just based on what I know, and the use of common sense.. Those who are addicted to the taste, sight, smell of, or whatever, or get off on it in some fashion, just aren't true sanguinarians..They have to know and understand and accept this..
Fallen: I agree, I also know of vamps that use the "glass full of blood" as a fashion item to impress and/or shock others..
Silver: Hmmmm.. I guess this is where all the "lifestyle" stuff enters into the picture..
Fallen: Different strokes for different folks I guess..
Silver: Hehehe I guess :o)
Fallen: Yep, unfortunately there are too many people who think its kewl to be a vampire, when they don't understand all the hardships we have to face and go through..
Silver: Well, its kewl some days.. And other days are particularly trying..Ok, moving on a bit here, why do you think some houses feel they need to represent some kind of tradition, when vampirism is a condition, and truly has no tradition?
Fallen: I think many try to use that as a way of selling their site.. After al,l people still have the Count Dracula/ Lestat view of vampires, and try and use this to attract visitors.. With the offline groups I'm involved in, the only traditions they have are the ones that are a part of the house/group. Like with the house of the FallenAngel, when they have a meeting, the Council is lead in flanked by sword bearers.. This is just to show that they are people of importance, and have respect..But in the long run, its just for show.. :o)
Silver: Ok well that is do - able I suppose, but some actually incorporate rituals and other aesthetically pleasing props and what have you into the mix..And speaking of what other houses/organisations do or don't, as a community leader yourself, do you think there is any way for all the houses and organisations to reach some kind of unification with each other, or have we all become too individualistic in what we believe vampirism to be?
Fallen: To be honest, community leaders hate being wrong, and are sometimes too stubbon to admit this.. More often we are our own worst enemy (even I have been guilty of this).. I would like to see all the groups come together as one, but it will never happen, as there are too many people who are power hungry, and will say their views on vampirism is the correct one no matter what..To sum it up, we are all stubborn bastards (including myself), and until we put aside our petty differences, the vampiric communities both on and offline will remain fragmented..
Silver: And this is one of the unfortunate problems we have.. And none of us have any real solutions on how to overcome these differences.. But by the same token, being individuals, we are all presenting what we know in different ways, and I think most of the houses out there have the right idea anyway.. Some just tend to tack a bit extra over the top there for good measure, and maybe to satisfy in some ways, other parts of their being..Some people come to the VC in doubt as to whether they are suffering from vampirism..Is there a way they can know for certain they do suffer from it?
Fallen: I agree hun, and this is something I have tried to answer time and time again, but I always fail in doing so.. The best answer I have been able to give on that when I have been asked is, that you just know.. There are feelings and things that can't be put into words.. It's like trying to explain what being in love is to someone who has no concept of it.
Silver: Yeah..It is fairly complex.. Sometimes people ask us how we take in energies, can you describe how you gain them and how you feel once you have?
Fallen: Well for the sanguine side, it's very hard to describe, but from the psi side, it's like imagining a person has a colored shroud around them, like an aura, then allowing a ribbon or a beam of the shroud to extend from them and being absorbed into you, and coursing through your body..The feeling afterwards is somewhat eurphoric, and I tend to feel satisfied like the cat that got the cream, but I know this can be different for everyone, as even though we are all vampires, we are all different..
Silver: True enough, we are.. Though I have to say, your method that you just described is very similar to mine..Ok, just moving on a bit more, if someone who was questioning their vampirism came to you, what advice could you offer them?
Fallen: Research, research and research, as well as offering them support, and where to find out the information they are looking for.. I tend to try and encourage people to research and learn things on their own, as they tend to learn more about vampirism in general rather than just one area, and also it gives them a feeling of accomplishment.. But when that's all said and done, I still make myself availble to offer further help..
Silver: Ok, I have just one more question for you..Where do you see your house/organisations in the next 5 years?
Fallen: Well hopefully that they will still be going strong, and become a well - known place of meeting for those who are interested in learning the truth and the facts about vampirism, rather then the fantasy garbage, such as the capes, turning into bats being thousands of years old, and more recently the v5 virus and hopefully in the long run, one of the groups that is reponsible for getting vampires recognised and accepted into normal society (rather than still being thought of just being a myth, or a group of people who are mad)..
Silver: Well, I do hope you will have many more fruitful years with your houses and organisations :o) It's good to know there are good caring groups here in the UK and Europe. I think we could do with a few more real organisations over here, as most tend to be in the States.. Well Fallen, I do appreciate the time you spent with me, I know you are a very busy man, but I just want to thankyou, and say that I have enjoyed our chat :o)
Fallen: And thank you for allowing me to share some of my knowledge with others, and I too have enjoyed our chat :)
Silver's Final Thought - The awakening process can be difficult for some, not to mention frightening..Isn't it great that there are so many in the vampire community who give so selflessly and tirelessly of themselves to make sure we have this information so that it need not be such a trying time? This is not to say that it is difficult or frightening for everyone - For some, it's simply one more thing to get used to, one more reason to take a better look into yourself and allow yourself to grow and change, and life is about that very thing..
We learn from other people, follow their examples, and sometimes it's a productive thing, and other times, a destructive thing, but either way, it promotes growth and change..I leave you all with this quote, in the hopes that it will inspire growth and change in those who read this.. Never be afraid to go forward into the unknown, you might become a better person for it, and even if you don't, at least you have learned from it, and so you have not totally wasted the effort..
"I have accepted fear as part of life--specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says turn back "..
-Erica Jong-
To those whom I love, I never stop thinking of you.. To my family here, I say that I love you all, and am thankful for each of you.. What a wonderful group you truly are.. :o) Dark Blessings..
Silver~